How To Let Go and Fail Forward
Recently, I’ve been teaching my seven-year-old how to ride a two-wheeler bike. It’s a milestone for any child—and a parent. The way I’m teaching them is the same way my dad taught me: by holding onto the back of the seat as they pedal forward.
At first, I hold tightly, steadying the bike as it wobbles, running alongside them to prevent any falls. Gradually, I loosen my grip, letting them balance on their own little by little. Eventually, I let go completely.
It sounds simple, but in practice, it’s anything but.
The Struggle to Let Go
Teaching my child to ride a bike has been surprisingly difficult—not just physically (running alongside a wobbly bike is no joke!) but emotionally. Even though I learned to ride through plenty of falls, scrapes, and bruises, I find myself struggling to let my child experience the same.
I want to protect them. My instincts scream, Don’t let them fall! Don’t let them get hurt! So, I keep adjusting, steadying, holding on.
But my child has other ideas. They keep yelling back to me, “Ema, let go! Let go!”
And I know they’re right. For them to learn, I have to let go. Falling is part of the process. Scrapes and bruises are part of the journey.
Falling Forward
This experience has reminded me of a deeper truth: In order to grow, we have to risk failure. In order to succeed, we have to be willing to fall.
Whether it’s learning to ride a bike, starting a new job, or pursuing a creative dream, there’s always a moment where we have to let go of control. We can prepare as much as possible, line everything up perfectly, and set ourselves—or others—up for success. But at some point, we have to release our grip and trust the process.
And yes, failure will happen. Falling will happen. Pain will happen. But these moments aren’t the end; they’re part of the journey.
Supporting Yourself (or Others) Through Failure
When the inevitable falls come, the most important thing is to show up with compassion—whether for yourself or for someone else.
Acknowledge the process. Remind yourself: This is what it means to grow. Falling isn’t failure; it’s how we learn.
Be there for the aftermath. When the pain of failure hits, offer kindness. Tell yourself (or your loved one): You didn’t do anything wrong. This is how it goes.
Help get back up. Support yourself or others in trying again, showing up again, and believing that progress is possible.
The Courage to Let Go
Letting go isn’t easy. It goes against our instincts to control, to protect, to shield ourselves or others from pain. But it’s the only way forward.
So, wherever you’re holding on too tightly—whether in your own life or in supporting someone else—consider loosening your grip. Trust that the falls are part of the process. And when they happen, be ready to pick yourself (or your loved one) back up and try again.
Good luck. Let go. Trust the process. And remember: this is what it means to be alive, to grow, and to keep moving forward.
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